A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure and privilege of speaking with a successful producer in Harrisburg.  He's worked with a lot of musicians - local, national, international, some famous and some not so famous.  No, this was not a meeting to discuss my next album (yet), and there were no big promises made on either side.  Rather, it was simply an afternoon spent chatting about the business, what I've done, what I'd like to do, and what some of my next steps could be.  I say "could" because there are so many people who say what my next steps "should" be, but if there's anything I've learned, it's that there is no magic formula, no one thing that I "should" do that will skyrocket me into stardom.  Except perhaps for this next thing. . .

As we chatted, I said I'd thought about going back to school for early childhood education, and he said this:  "Do not have a plan B, because you will use it." 

Truer words, as pertaining to me, were never spoken.

So I have let go of my plan B for now - instead of researching online education, I am researching more places to play.  Instead of looking on craigslist for jobs as preschool teacher assistants, I took on a part time job as a singer in a wedding band - it builds on my experience, exposes me to more styles of music, and it helps me to gain more confidence as a performer - all of which are extremely important.  And, let's face it, it's fun.  I enjoy a cheesy sing-along as much as anyone, and I love getting all dressed up.

All of this "should" lead to more exciting things on my musical horizon.  Can't wait!

xo,
Nancy

Yes, it has certainly been a while.  I have, as of late, been down in the doldrums - winter often does that to me - but I am on my way up again. 

Webster has three definitions for "doldrums":

1 : a spell of listlessness or despondency
2 : often capitalized : a part of the ocean near the equator abounding in calms, squalls, and light shifting winds
3 : a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or slump

The first and third definitions I'm familiar with, but the second one fascinates me - it's almost the opposite of the other two.  This part of the ocean is not stagnant, rather, it is somewhat chaotic. 

I could go on, breaking down the definitions and putting the words in all their various contexts.  A squall, in the above context, is a thunderstorm occuring along a cold front.  In another context it means "a raucous cry."  "Raucous" comes with what might be my favorite definition of the night - "boisterously disorderly."

And that kind of brings me full circle, because while I was in my state of inactivity, my thoughts were still very boisterously disordered, which made it difficult to write.  Now clearly, they're still not very orderly, but this was fun for me.  :-)

Today was a relatively productive day - I made some calls/sent a few emails about booking, looked into a few new venues, discovered a new trick on my website, and spent some time trying to explain the laws of gravity and physics the three-year-old I was babysitting.  He figured it out pretty quickly, too - smart cookie. 

Aside from the winter blues, I faced a few blows on the musical/financial front in the past few months - cancelled gigs, closed bars, some car problems - all things to send my brain into a bit of a tailspin.  Now, in the past, I have been known to take the easy way out.  I look for quick fixes, and if one is not available, I give up.  But the music business does not allow for that sort of behavior, and I have come a little too far to take the easy way out, now.  That would just be silly. 

I am, however, giving up on this blog, as I can see it's not going anywhere.  But, as always, I leave you with these little morsels:

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”
 - Bill Cosby

“You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what's that?
Come up with a smiling face,
It's nothing against you to fall down flat
But to lie there -- that's a disgrace.”
- Edmund Vance Cooke

And, to put things simply:
"The only way out is through, ultimately."
- Alanis Morissette

xo,
Nancy

p.s.  While you're reading, check out my new bio!  A good friend of mine helped me out with it (ok, he wrote the whole thing) - let me know what you think!

Literally, what to say? 

I do have a few pieces of news.  I've been chosen to showcase at the Millennium Music Conference in Harrisburg in February, which is very exciting.  A lot of people aren't crazy about conferences, but I learn so much when I'm there.  It's nice to know when I'm on the right track and what I may need to change up.  It's also great to just get my name OUT THERE.  Where, you ask?  I don't know.  Just THERE.  Kyle Swartzwelder will be joining me at said showcase - it will be a fabulous show.  If you find yourself in the Harrisburg area on Feb 19 (or if you happen to live there), would love, love, love to see you there.

Let's see, what else?

Ah, I have just booked another date at the wonderful Tin Angel in Olde City, Philadelphia.  March 14, 7:30 PM.  The rest of the bill is yet to be determined, but it will be a good show, promise.  We're changing the band lineup a bit, too, so it won't be the same old thing!

The Christmas show that was cancelled at Burlap & Bean is now going to happen in July.  What fun!  More details to follow. . .

This has been an entirely boring blog post.  No deep thoughts or inspiring quotes.  But it is what it is, and I am what I am - today.  Tomorrow I may be entirely different. 

Ok, ok, I can't resist a good quote.  Here goes:

"Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Or, in simpler, pop-cultural terms, "It's my prerogative."  - Bobby Brown

xo,
Nancy

This is perhaps not the best time to be writing a blog. I am in a blah mood. It's been raining all day, and I didn't get a very good night's sleep. Though my brain is on overdrive today, so I suppose it's as good a time as any.  On a side note, every time I mention to someone, or even to myself, that I didn't get a good night's sleep, the song "Last Night I Didn't Get To Sleep At All" by The 5th Dimension pops into my head, and it stays for quite some time.  Just thought I'd throw that out there. 

Anyway, this brain-on-overdrive thing is not uncommon for me. I've oft been accused of thinking too much, and I am most certainly guilty. I analyze, I criticize, I second-guess, I get ahead of myself, I get behind myself, I project, I backstep, I keep it all in, I talk myself out, I torture, I reward, I make lists, I multi-task, I focus, I divert. And in the end, I write a song. Or a blog, as it were.

Moving on. 


I thought I'd give a little update on my resolutions from my last post.  As I mentioned, I'm a New Year's Resolution kind of girl.  I reset myself, go into overhaul mode. This year is no different. I have thus far gone back to the gym, started drinking more water, picked up a part-time job (it's music related), rearranged my room (I purged. A LOT.), started a new hobby (rock-climbing), started a new art project (a set of paintings for Mom's house), written letters every week, created (and am trying extremely hard to implement) a monthly budget that will hopefully get me to Italy, which was another of those resolutions. . .

Flossing, however, still eludes me.  Baby steps, Nancy, baby steps. 

It is true that last night I didn't get to sleep at all, so here I must bid you good night. 

O bed! O bed! delicious bed!That heaven upon earth to the weary head.— Thomas Hood, Miss Kilmansegg - Her Dream

Happy New Year!  I hope your your holidays were wonderful, I wish for you an amazing 2010. 

Please forgive me for a moment while I go cliché, talking about the year past and my hopes for the year ahead. But, I admit, I'm a New Year resolution kind of girl, and I typically form some very good habits that way.

2009 was a good year for me, both musically and personally. A debut album, shows at the Tin Angel, music conference showcases, and new musical friendships. I've become a better writer, a better singer, and a better player. I've written new songs that I can't wait to record, and I've learned many, many, many lessons about the music business and it's ups and downs.  Here's hoping I can apply those lessons and make them work for me in 2010!

In the interest of keeping this short (relatively speaking - I know I have a tendency to ramble), I'm going to skip right to the resolutions and the things I'd like to accomplish this year.  They're in no particular order, and they go from business to personal, and from practical to completely impossible.  But If I put them out there, for everyone to read, I'll be more likely to stick with them.  So thank you, in advance.

1.  Floss.  Daily.  I'm terrible with this, my dentist lectures me every time I go. 
2.  Write more letters.  Email just doesn't cut it.
3.  Send out press kits for CD reviews.  Very important, and very overwhelming.
4.  Go skydiving. 
5.  Become fluent in Italian.  Research dual citizenship (found out recently that I'm eligible!).  Visit Italy.  (This one will most likely be a work in progress over a few years. . .)
6.  Stop worrying and obsessing about things I cannot control. 
7.  Drink more water.  I'm really bad at this, too. 
8.  Expand my reach.  Open mics and gigs in Baltimore, DC, New Jersey, New York. 
9.  Travel.  Anywhere. 
10.  Write more blogs.  I know I promised it before, but I've now put "write blog" on my to-do list on my phone.  It's a repeating event, once a week, and if I don't do it, it shows up in red, just glaring at me, until I do.  Hate that.  So I will do it. 
11.  Master rock climbing.  I just started two days ago, so this could take some work. 
12.  Perform a doubles trapeze routine - gracefully.  The moves I have, the grace, I do not.  I'm a klutz.

That's enough for now.  No need to overwhelm myself!

Ok, I'm off to write a letter to my soon-to-be-5 year old Godchild.  Then I'll floss.  I swear.

But I do want to leave you with this: 

"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives, not looking for flaws, but for potential."  - Ellen Goodman.

2010 is FULL of potential for all of us.  Embrace it.  Be inspired.

xo,
Nancy

So I allowed myself to relax a little after the CD Release.  And perhaps a little before the release, as well.  And perhaps too much in general.  Tsk, tsk.  But we all need vacations, even those of us that are lucky enough to have vacation-like jobs, like me.  But now it needs to end.  I need a vacation from slacking. 

Anyway.  During my time off, I got to spend some time at the beach.  Not on the beach, mind you, as I am ridiculously pale, but I was in the vicinity of the ocean, and it soothed me.  Standing at the edge of the country kind of gives me a bit of perspective as to how big THE world is and how small MY world is.  Then I get sudden urges to get in my car and drive - maybe down the east coast, maybe out to the west.  Maybe up to the airport to visit a coast on the other side of the Atlantic.  I get to a point where it doesn't really matter where I go, as long as it's somewhere.  I get the urge for going.  Which is an interesting seque into my next thought. . .

I've been reading "Girls Like Us", a biography of Joni Mitchell, Carole King, and Carly Simon.  What an incredibly fascinating book, with an insane amount of information.  I find myself identifying most with Joni Mitchell - her music, her life, her view of love and relationships.  My favorite album of hers is "Blue" - I'd always enjoyed the songs on there, but reading this book gives me an entirely new way to see it.  I now know the stories behind "Carey" and "California", and the songs hit me even harder.  Even Joni herself said it was "probably the purest emotional record that I will ever make in my life. . . There is not one false note in that album.  I love that record more than any of them, and I'll never be that pure again."

That's how I want my writing to go. 

Ok, ok, I know it's been over a month.  And I know (well, I hope) you're all anxiously awaiting news about the CD.  Well I DO have news.  But I'm going to make it quick, before moving on to bigger and better thoughts. 

The CD is in replication right now.  I will pick them up on Friday, and get them in the mail on Monday.  So those of you who purchased one can expect it in the mail shortly thereafter!  Yay.

And now the bigger and better thoughts. 

Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity to play at Cooldog Concerts, in Clayton, DE.  Once a month, a very generous music lover opens his home to artists and fans for a house concert.  He has converted his upstairs into a listening room that seats up to 70 people, with professional sound and video equipment.  Patrons bring a donation and a covered dish - it's more than a concert - it's a party.  I got to mix and mingle and tell stories and laugh and share.  It will go on the list of my favorite venues - I hope to get back there again, and I urge you to look into it!  www.cooldogconcerts.com.  I'll put it on my links page, as well. 

And in addition to the coolness of the venue, I had the pleasure of opening for the amazing Ellen Cherry Band from Baltimore.  She was amazing.  I was nearly speechless, and I'm glad I chatted with her BEFORE the show, because I would have otherwise been starstruck.  A beautiful and inspiring woman.

In other news, and perhaps this falls into the bigger, but not necessarily better category, I lost my full time job with the Merriam Theater.  The theater was owned by University of the Arts, but has been taken over by the Kimmel Center, and they apparently didn't need me.  Ha!  We'll see about that.  No, I'm kidding. 

I should perhaps be stressed about the loss of steady income, health insurance, and various other perks.  I am lucky enough to have enough gigs to carry me through August and part of September, and if I'm smart, all the way into October.  This gives me a chance to really give this music thing a go.  I've spent the last week or so trying to write press releases, bios, order posters, postcards, send out press kits, write blogs, update calendars, and book a few gigs.  I've done research on open mics in other cities to try to spread the word about my original music.  The truth is that it's now or never. 

I'd be so much happier with now.

I've also been a little more inspired.  I find myself having new ideas for songs.  Listening to music, reading, and even watching a little TV can really spark my creativity, and now I actually have time to do that.  I remember when I was in college and started writing, I would carry my little notebook around with me and write down every little thought I had that seemed important.  Those thoughts became lyrics and the lyrics became songs.  So I've been trying to keep a little notebook on me all the time so I can keep the creativity flowing. 

In other words, I have found the silver lining, which I sometimes have a very hard time doing.  But what choice do I have?  In all honesty, I've been waiting for an excuse to do this, and here it is.  Here is my push.  In fact, I don't need a push.  I'm happy to leap. 

Y'all will catch me, right?  :-)

So I'm in the studio.  Right now.  Nine tracks down, two to go, and a few more tweaks until complete doneness.  I'm so excited that I'm making up words. 

I can't wait to sleep.  I can't wait to go for a long, hard run to make up for all the junk food that gets consumed during studio time.  I'm tired, I'm dehydrated, my brain is fried, and I feel great. 

This process is a tedious one.  We mix it, we listen to it, we burn it to disc.  We listen to it again.  In the studio.  In the engineers' van.  In my car.  We decide what changes need to be made.  We tweak it, we listen to it again.  And again.  We turn up the piano, turn down the bass, level out the percussion, pan left or right, ease up on the reverb.  Or vice versa.  They give me a disc, I take it home, listen to it, and most of the time, we start all over again. 

But I feel great.

I am so incredibly proud of this album.  I have given it my all - emotionally, financially, sometimes even physically.  I've spent long days here and longer nights.  At the risk of sounding completely cliche, I really have put my sweat and tears into this. 

But for the first time in my life, I am absolutely positive that this is where I belong.  Until this point, it's been almost a novelty for me - hey, look what I can do.  I can sing and play a little guitar.  Maybe I can make a little extra money on the side.  Go to work during the day, maybe play a little on the weekends.  

Somewhere in the past two or three years, however, that has all changed.  The weekends are no longer enough.  I want to spend my mornings teaching, my afternoons writing and promoting, and my nights on stage.  I want to travel.  I want people to hear what I have done, and I actually believe they'll like it.  Maybe even love it.  Maybe tell their friends.  Maybe buy tickets to my shows. 

I can't describe the change in confidence or pinpoint the time it happened.  But I know that at this point I can't, and for that matter, don't want, to do anything else. 

At the age of 30, I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. 

Music. 



  

So much to cover in this one.  I had a brief thought to save some of it for the next blog, but I would rather not hold back or plan my musings. 

1.  Ghost. 

In the summer, I get to spend a lot of time in my car - thinking, dreaming, writing, and of course, listening.  I like to put my iPod on shuffle and just let it go.  My iPod has about 6000 songs on it, spanning almost a century of music and covering (almost) every genre.  Billie Holiday comes on right after Tom Petty.  Then it's Kathleen Edwards, Spoon, Death Cab for Cutie,  Patty Griffin, perhaps some Dean Martin, the Four Tops, the Four Seasons, the Five Satins - you get the idea.  And while a lot of it, I'll admit, is cheesy guilty pleasure music (yes, I own Air Supply's greatest hits),  the majority of it is beautiful, nostalgic, peaceful, and inspiring. 

Yesterday, Indigo Girls' "Ghost" came on - an anthem of my high school days.  My friend Terri and I would walk home from school, and we'd sing it together in perfect harmony.  In the car yesterday, all of those memories came flooding back.  I remembered every single word, every single note.  I sang it at the top of my lungs like Terri and I used to.  

"Ghost" is a decidedly sad song - "I feel it like a sickness how this love is killing me, but I'd walk into the fingers of your fire willingly."  But it didn't make me sad.  In fact, it made me hyper aware of my own happiness.  And it was beautiful.   

2.  Father's Day.

I was lucky enough to be able to take Daddy to brunch yesterday - just the two of us.  My father is a pianist, though he doesn't get to play nearly as often as he'd like.  When I was a kid, I would sit in the basement and listen to him practice - I'd fall asleep in my favorite bean bag chair, and he'd carry me to bed.  Whenever I hear "Girl From Impanema", I think of him - he used to play it all the time. 

During brunch, as is usually the case, the conversation turned to music.  Daddy tells me how much he misses music, how much he wonders if he made the right decision in going into accounting.  How he has a hard time sitting down to play anymore, due to work or family obligations - even when he has the time, his head is spinning with the day's happenings.  He tells me stories of his younger days - when he briefly played in a band, when he met my mother, when he decided to take piano lessons again in his mid 30s. 

When I was about 8 years old, he had a recital for these piano lessons.  He and I remember the day very differently - he remembers not doing well.  I, however, remember watching in awe as he played.  I have no idea what piece it was or where in the city we were.  But I remember walking down the street - he in his suit (he's always been a snappy dresser), and I in my blue skirt and matching top with white lace trim - and being so happy to hold his hand.  That's my Daddy.  Yesterday we talked about that day, and we laughed when we remembered the fact that I spilled ketchup all over myself at lunch before the recital.  It made me tear up, and thinking about it now is having the same effect. 

I'm not sure if I'm crying because I'm happy to have that memory, or sad that I'm all grown up.  Either way, I'm a very lucky girl.

At one point, Daddy and I talked about my time in the studio.  I was rambling about recording the piano track for "Beneath My Skin", and he said I was so "music minded."  My head is always in the music.  He told me how proud he is of me when he sees me on stage.  "That's my daughter."

What goes around comes around.  Beautiful. 

3.  Launching a Career

I mentioned last week that I was going to a seminar on Launching a Career in music.  I'd like to write a whole separate blog on that, but I wanted to mention this part here.  The question that was presented to the panelists was something to the effect of, "What do you look for in a musician that you're planning to book/manage/promote/ etc?"  Biff Kennedy, the man behind The Charterhouse Music Group here in Philly, offered up this quote:  

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

Beautiful. 
 

I had a lovely five day weekend - I've discovered I'm a much happier person when my days are filled with music.  Friday morning I auditioned with 2012 Productions, and while I have no idea exactly what they were looking for, I think it went pretty well and I look forward to perhaps working with them in the future.  A whole mess of talent in one room can only turnout good things.  Yes, I'm including myself in that mess.  Took me a long time to feel I could do that.

Then, after a training session for my toddler music classes at Makin' Music, I went to Scott Haskitt's studio to work on finishing touches on Wildflowers.  For those of you that don't know Scott, he's been my musical partner in crime since my college days, and he has been a tremendous help on this album.  While I was at his house, I did some backing vocals and harmonies for his album, to be released around the same time as mine.  Exciting, right? 

Saturday I was fortunate enough to squeeze in a beach gig before the rain came, and got to spend some relaxing quality time with Mom and my old roommate.  We went to one of my absolute favorite restaurants in Lewes, Delaware, Half Full.  Gourmet pizza, and wine.  Who could ask for more?  Certainly not I. 

Sunday I spent with Ivan and the boat.  Not quite as relaxing, but definitely rewarding.  Who knew I could be so handy?  We installed some hardware, windows, and got the boat much closer to getting back in the water.  That's where the rewarding part comes in.  Sunset sails anyone?  Then we had dinner at another favorite place, Homegrown Cafe in Newark, DE.  Organic fine dining.  Yum.

So what are we up to?  Monday.  I worked on the website, the CD artwork, and I succeeded in my mission to find the perfect pair of jeans.  Lucky Brand, I love you.  All in all, it was a pretty productive day.

Today was much the same.  Finished up Wildflowers and keeping the lines of communication open!  Tonight I'm headed to Tin Angel for a seminar on Launching a Career in Music.  Extremely necessary, because after I get this CD finished, I'm at a loss! 

If I'm feeling inspired after the seminar, I may write again.  Or I may be inspired to start working on tunes for the next album!  After all, I just spent almost five straight days working hard, and I'm feeling more refreshed than ever.  I believe I should take that as a sign. . .

xo,
Nancy